Types of Abuse

Discriminatory abuse is the unequal treatment of an individual based on age, disability, gender and gender reassignment, marriage and civil partnership, pregnancy and maternity, race, religion and belief, sex or sexual orientation.

Discriminatory abuse can include suffering insulting language, harassment or ill-treatment due to these personal characteristics.

Hate Crime

Hate crimes are any criminal acts that are targeted at a person because of hostility or prejudice towards a person’s disability, race and ethnicity, religion or belief, sexual orientation, and gender identity.

Acts can include physical attacks, verbal abuse, harassment, damage to property, or bullying.

Surrey Police have useful information about recognising the signs of hate crime.

This is typically an incident or pattern of incidents of controlling, coercive or threatening behaviour, violence or abuse by someone who is, or has been, an intimate partner or family member.

Signs of Domestic Abuse, Coercion and Control 

There are different kinds of abuse, but it’s always about having power and control over you.

If you answer yes to any of the following questions, you might be in an abusive relationship.

Emotional Abuse

Does your partner ever:

• belittle you, or put you down?
• blame you for the abuse or arguments?
• deny that abuse is happening, or downplay it?
• isolate you from your family and friends?
• stop you going to college or work?
• make unreasonable demands for your attention?
• accuse you of flirting or having affairs?
• tell you what to wear, who to see, where to go, and what to think?
• control your money, or not give you enough to buy food or other essential things?
• monitor your social media profiles, share photos or videos of you without your consent or use GPS locators to know where you are?

Threats and Intimidation

Does your partner ever:

• threaten to hurt or kill you?
• destroy things that belong to you?
• stand over you, invade your personal space?
• threaten to kill themselves or the children?
• read your emails, texts or letters?
• harass or follow you?

Physical Abuse

The person abusing you may hurt you in a number of ways.

Does your partner ever:

• slap, hit or punch you?
• push or shove you?
• bite or kick you?
• burn you?
• choke you or hold you down?
• throw things?

Sexual Abuse

Sexual abuse can happen to anyone.

Does your partner ever:

• touch you in a way you do not want to be touched?
• make unwanted sexual demands?
• hurt you during sex?
• pressure you to have unsafe sex – for example, not using a condom?
• pressure you to have sex?

If your partner has sex with you when you do not want to, this is rape.

Have you ever felt afraid of your partner?

Have you ever changed your behaviour because you’re afraid of what your partner might do?

If you think you may be in an abusive relationship, there are lots of people who can help you.

1 in 3 cases of domestic violence and abuse against women starts during pregnancy. If the relationship is already abusive, it can get worse.

Find out more about domestic abuse in pregnancy.

Economic Abuse

Financial or economic abuse is controlling access to money or resources, including putting someone into debt, preventing them from working or taking their wages.

People commonly use the terms economic abuse and financial abuse interchangeably, since they involve similar behaviours. It can be helpful to think of financial abuse as a subcategory of economic abuse.

Helping a friend if they are being abused

If you’re worried a friend is being abused, let them know you’ve noticed something is wrong.

They might not be ready to talk, but try to find quiet times when they can talk if they choose to.

If someone confides in you that they’re suffering domestic abuse:

• listen, and take care not to blame them
• acknowledge it takes strength to talk to someone about experiencing abuse
• give them time to talk, but do not push them to talk if they do not want to
• acknowledge they’re in a frightening and difficult situation
• tell them nobody deserves to be threatened or beaten, despite what the abuser has said
• support them as a friend, encourage them to express their feelings, and allow them to make their own decisions
• do not tell them to leave the relationship if they’re not ready – that’s their decision
• ask if they have suffered physical harm and if they have, offer to go with them to a hospital or GP
• help them report the assault to the police if they choose to
• be ready to provide information about organisations that offer help for people experiencing domestic abuse

Worried about someone?

If you are concerned about someone you know report it.

In an emergency always call 999. If it is not an emergency, and you would prefer to remain anonymous, you can contact Crimestoppers online, or on the phone by calling 0800 555 111 with 100 per cent anonymity guaranteed.

• Ask for Ani
• Enough

Resources

• Help guide – Domestic Abuse
• Hollie Guard 
• Men’s Advice Line 
• ‘My Support Space’ from Victim Support
• National Domestic Abuse Helpline  – 0808 2000 247
  
• NHS Choices – Getting help for domestic abuse
• Refuge – Domestic Abuse Support
• Sistah Space
• Victim Support  – 0808 168 9111
• Surrey Against Domestic Abuse | Healthy Surrey

We have outlined further information on Domestic Abuse, and the support available Domestic Abuse – Surrey Safeguarding Adults Board (surreysab.org.uk)

Domestic Abuse

Some vulnerable adults may become victims of forced marriage. A forced marriage differs from an arranged marriage in that the person does not freely consent to it. A vulnerable adult may be coerced into a marriage or may not full understand the decision to marry.

Abuse in your home

You’re more at risk of abuse at home if:

• you’re isolated and don’t have much contact with friends, family or neighbours.
• you have memory problems or difficulty communicating.
• you become dependent on your carer.
• you don’t get on with your carer.
• your carer is addicted to drugs or alcohol.
• your carer relies on you for a home, or financial or emotional support.

See also

• Female genital mutilation
• Rape and sexual assault
• Rape and sexual assault

Financial abuse is: ‘The unauthorised and improper use of funds, property or any resources belonging to another individual’.

Section 42 of the Care Act 2014 states that financial and material abuse includes:

• theft.
• fraud.
• internet scamming.
• coercion in relation to an adult’s financial affairs or arrangements, including in connection with wills, property, inheritance or financial transactions.
• the misuse or misappropriation of property, possessions, or benefits.

The most common type of financial abuse is committed by partners, family members, friends, or carers. This is committed by people who are in a position of trust and power. This may include;

•  Taking money out of a person’s account or cash by family members from their wallet/purse without their permission.
•  Taking out credit in a person’s name without their knowledge or permission such as a credit card or bank loan.
•  Cashing a person’s cheques, or money without their consent.
•  A person being stopped from accessing their own finances and bank accounts.
•  A person using a bank or credit card without the permission of the card holder to purchase items for their own financial gain.
•  Taking possessions or property from the persons home without their consent.
•  A person requesting for benefits to be paid into their account and failing to provide the victim with their benefits.
•  Romance fraud, a person who meets an individual online who grooms the person into making payments.
•  Blackmail which is a type of abuse that can be used for financial gain and may involve using threats of physical, mental or emotional harm, or of criminal prosecution, against a victim or someone close to them.

Commercial Financial Abuse

This is committed by those who are categorised or purporting to be a commercial entity and may include;

•  A Trader stating work needs to be done on a property due to it being in “disrepair” or “unsafe”. This includes, driveways, tarmacking, gardening, guttering, roofing, tree cutting, etc.
•  A person purporting to be a trader, grooming and befriending persons to extort money and assets from them which is fraud.
•  Phone call purporting to be from the bank or police asking the victim to withdraw money from their account and meet a courier.  Referred to as courier fraud.
•  Impersonating of officials such as TV licencing demanding for payment of services, this could be over the phone, online or in person.
•  Postal, telephone and internet scams where the person has fallen victim to the fraudster claiming to be an investment company and the person is groomed into giving them money.
•  Being deliberately overcharged for goods or services or being asked to part with money under false pretenses.
•  Unlicensed money lending (loan sharks) e.g; being offered a loan on very bad terms.
•  Staff or volunteers borrowing money or accepting gifts or money from clients.
•  Professionals misusing a person’s assets. e.g; Carers using an adults Blue Badge or their mobility car without them present for their own personal gain.
•  Personal allowance for a person in a care home being absorbed into a care home or household budget or misappropriated by care staff.
•  Care provider/ day service intentionally charging a person for support although it is not delivered at the amount agreed in Care and Support Plan eg;1:1 support delivered and not 2:1.

Advice and Signposting

Surrey Trading Standards is at the forefront of tackling financial abuse through their activities in identifying, visiting and supporting victims of scams.

Other Useful Resources

Hourglass, a UK wide charity working to promote safer ageing and ending abuse, have produced a financial abuse leaflet Financial Abuse leaflet 2021 web_1_7.pdf (wearehourglass.org)

The National Centre for Domestic Violence work closely with Respect who have produced a financial abuse toolkit Financial Abuse Support Toolkit • NCDV

Financial Abuse

Financial Abuse (easy read)

Physical abuse is defined as any intentional act causing injury or trauma to another person through bodily contact. It is a deliberate act of force that results in harm, injury, or trauma to the victim’s body.

This  can include:

• being hit, slapped, pushed or restrained
• being denied food or water
• not being helped to go to the bathroom when you need to
• misuse of your medicines

Physical abuse can have serious consequences for the well-being of the survivor, potentially leading to psychological conditions and complications.

It is often used as a means for one person to gain control over another. Recognizing the signs of physical abuse is crucial for early intervention and support for those affected.

Strangulation can be defined as obstruction of blood vessels and/or airways by external pressure to the neck resulting in decreased oxygen supply to the brain. Non-fatal strangulation is where such strangulation has not directly caused the death of the victim.

Legally, A person commits an offence if they intentionally strangle another person or does any other act that affects their ability to breathe. If there is consent for strangulation it is still an offence if this party suffers serious harm as a result of the strangulation or other act or the strangler was reckless as to whether the act would cause serious harm.

A person guilty of an offence under this section is liable to imprisonment for a term not exceeding 12 months among other punishments.

The Domestic Abuse Act 2021 introduced the offences of non-fatal strangulation and non-fatal suffocation. The common methods of non-fatal strangulation are:

• manual – one or two hands held around the neck of a person
• chokehold or head lock – external pressure applied by an arm around the neck
• ligature – for example a scarf or belt tightened around the neck
• hanging
• pressure on the neck from a foot or knee

Methods of non-fatal suffocation could include:

• Putting a hand over the mouth and nose
• Compressing the chest
• Any other force or suppression applied to a person to cause a restriction of breath.

The above lists are not exhaustive.

Examples

• Assault, hitting, slapping, punching, kicking, hair-pulling, biting, pushing.
• Rough handling.
• Scalding and burning.
• Physical punishments.
• Inappropriate or unlawful use of restraint.
• Making someone purposefully uncomfortable (e.g. opening a window and removing blankets).
• Involuntary isolation or confinement.
• Misuse of medication (e.g. over-sedation).
• Forcible feeding or withholding food.
• Unauthorised restraint, restricting movement (e.g. tying someone to a chair).

Statistics

Each year more than 75,000 people in the UK are at high and imminent risk of being murdered or seriously injured as a result of domestic abuse.

Eight women a month are killed by a current or former partner in England and Wales.

On average victims at high risk of serious harm or murder live with domestic abuse for 2.5 years before getting help.

Over 70% of high-risk victims report experiencing physical abuse.

Safety Advice

• Contact 999 if a person who is being abused feels that they are at risk of serious harm or homicide.
• If the person who is being abused needs to be removed from their home for safety please contact their local housing department to make a homeless referral or contact Our refuges – Refuge or via their national helpline: 0800 200 0247.
• If a person is considered not to have the mental capacity or ability to make safe choices, make a referral to adult safeguarding services in your area.
• If children are involved and at risk, make a safeguarding referral to your local team.
• Encourage the person experiencing abuse to document any injuries, preferably in photographic form with something that proves dates and times and keep these somewhere safe.
• Encourage them to talk to someone they trust about the abuse.
• Refer them to the appropriate domestic abuse specialist service.

I want to leave my relationship safely – Women’s Aid (womensaid.org.uk)

Who to Contact

Surrey Against Domestic Abuse | Healthy Surrey

More information

Non-fatal strangulation or non-fatal suffocation | The Crown Prosecution Service (cps.gov.uk)

Psychological abuse is behaviour that aims to cause emotional or mental harm. It may not hurt your body, but can be just as painful and distressing in other ways. No one behaves perfectly in their relationships all the time. However, when someone deliberately hurts you over and over again it becomes abusive.

Psychological abuse is an insidious form of abuse in which perpetrators employ a wide range of personalised, psychological tactics to manipulate and frighten a person, distorting their thoughts and changing their sense of self in order to maintain control.

It involves the regular and deliberate use of a range of words and non-physical actions used with the purpose to manipulate, hurt, weaken or frighten a person mentally and emotionally; and/or distort, confuse or influence a person’s thoughts and actions within their everyday lives, changing their sense of self and harming their wellbeing.

Perpetrators use a wide range of hidden tactics to maintain control and brainwash their victim, presenting insults as a joke, gaslighting, and presenting different versions of events.

At the beginning of their relationships, 96% of survivors said their partner was charming and affectionate, 93% said they expressed love for them very quickly and 92% wanted to spend a lot of time together. Abusive behaviour is interspersed with warmth and kindness, slowly desensitising the victim to the behaviour.

Examples

Perpetrators take advantage of victims’ vulnerabilities; those with mental health illnesses were threatened with being sectioned, whereas those with precarious immigration status reported citizenship being used to keep them dependent upon their abuser.

Intimidation and Threats. 

This could be things like shouting, acting aggressively or just generally making you feel scared. This is often done as a way of making a person feel small and stopping them from standing up for themselves.

Criticism.

This could be things like name-calling or making lots of unpleasant or sarcastic comments. This can really lower a person’s self-esteem and self-confidence.

Undermining.

This might include things like dismissing your opinion. It can also involve making you doubt your own opinion by acting as if you’re being oversensitive if you do complain, disputing your version of events or by suddenly being really nice to you after being cruel.

Being made to feel guilty. This can range from outright emotional blackmail (threats to kill oneself or lots of emotional outbursts) to sulking all the time or giving you the silent treatment as a way of manipulating you.

Economic Abuse.

This can be withholding money, not involving you in finances or even preventing you from getting a job. This could be done as a way of stopping you from feeling independent and that you’re able to make your own choices.

Telling you what you can and can’t do.

As the examples above make clear, emotional abuse is generally about control. Sometimes this is explicit. Does your partner tell you when and where you can go out, or even stop you from seeing certain people? Do they try to control how you dress or how you style your hair?

Enforced Social Isolation. 

Preventing someone accessing services, educational and social opportunities and seeing friends.

Removing mobility or communication aids or intentionally leaving someone unattended when they need assistance.

Preventing someone from meeting their religious and cultural needs.

Preventing the expression of choice and opinion.

Failure to respect privacy.

Preventing stimulation, meaningful occupation or activities.

Addressing a person in a patronising or infantilising way.

Threats of harm or abandonment.

Cyber bullying.

Statistics

Nearly half (48%) of survivors reported regularly being told they were mentally unstable, and over half regularly experienced control in who they could speak to, meet socially or spend time with.

91% of survivors experienced some form of psychological violence in their relationship.

Safety Advice

• Contact 999 if a person who is being abused feels that they are at risk of serious harm or homicide.
• If the person who is being abused needs to be removed from their home for safety please contact their local housing department to make a homeless referral or contact Our refuges – Refuge or via their national helpline: 08002000247.
• If a person is considered not to have the mental capacity or ability to make safe choices, make a referral to adult safeguarding services in your area.
• If children are involved and at risk, make a safeguarding referral to your local team.
• If there is an imminent risk of suicide or self harm, please refer the person being abused to: Where to get urgent help for mental health – NHS (www.nhs.uk). You may also need to call 999 and ask for ambulance or police.
• Advise the person being abused to record incidents of abuse for future safeguarding, it may also help them to recognise a larger pattern of behaviour.
• Refer them to their local domestic abuse services for ongoing support.
• Ask the person who is being abused to talk to someone they trust about the abuse.
• It may be helpful for the person being abused to discuss the impact of psychological abuse with their GP.

I want to leave my relationship safely – Women’s Aid (womensaid.org.uk)

Neglect is where a person who has care needs relies on someone else for specific things, which fail to happen. This can be intentional or unintentional.

Think about someone who needs help to get to the toilet being ignored causing them to wet themselves. Someone who needs help to pay their bills getting into debt because the person supporting them fails to make the payments.

This category will often mean situations where the neglect or omission could reasonably have been prevented, or is intentional, or is persistent. This is because human error or unusual circumstances can mean that things are missed when caring for someone else but is a one-off or temporary issue. The impact of the neglect or failure is also a factor – missing one dose of a vitamin is likely to be different to missing a dose of insulin, for example.

The Mental Capacity Act (MCA) 2005 introduced a new criminal offence under Section 44 of ill-treatment or wilful neglect of a person who lacks capacity, or who is reasonably believed to lack capacity at the time of the offence. The key word here is ‘wilful’, and the act has to be proven to have been intentional beyond all reasonable doubt for a prosecution to be successful.

In safeguarding adult cases where there is not enough evidence to support criminal investigation or prosecution, then disciplinary or similar processes are able to make a decision on the balance of probability, rather than the higher threshold of ‘beyond all reasonable doubt’ in court cases.

What might it look like?

• Failure to provide or allow access to food, shelter, clothing, heating, stimulation and activity, personal or medical care
• Failure to provide care in the way the person wants
• Failure to administer medication as prescribed
• Not taking account of individuals’ cultural, religious or ethnic needs
• Not taking account of educational, social and recreational needs
• Ignoring or isolating the person
• Failure to allow choice and preventing people from making their own decisions
• Failure to ensure appropriate privacy and dignity.

How might you recognise it?

• Poor hygiene/cleanliness of the person in need of care and support
• Repeated infections e.g. urine or chest infections
• Dehydration, unexplained weight loss, malnutrition
• Repeated or unexplained falls or trips
• Not having the proper items they needs to help them e.g. walking frame, hearing aid, glasses, pressure mat
• Pressure sores or ulcers
• Untreated injuries and medical problems
• Inconsistent or reluctant contact with medical and social care organisations
• Large amount of medication not taken
• Social isolation that is unusual for that person
• Wrong clothing e.g. someone else’s, too big / too small, not right for the weather or situation

Neglect

Neglect (easy read)

Are you concerned that that someone you know, perhaps a friend or a neighbour, is neglecting themselves?

Signs – How To Spot

Perhaps you have noticed some of the following signs of neglect in their home

• Lack of essentials like food, water or heat
• Poor living environment such as lack of utilities (gas or electric), sufficient space, and ventilation
• Animal or insect infestations
• Signs of medication mismanagement, including empty or unmarked bottles or outdated prescriptions
• The home is unsafe as a result of disrepair, faulty wiring, inadequate sanitation or poor cleanliness
• Hoarding of items or animals

Or have you spotted any of the following physical indicators

• Poor personal hygiene including soiled clothing, dirty nails and skin, matted or lice infested hair, odours, and the presence of faeces or urine
• Unsuitably dressed
• Bedsores/pressure ulcers
• Skin rashes
• Lack of the necessary medical aids (e.g. eyeglasses, hearing aids, dentures, walking frame)
• Signs of dehydration – not going to the toilet, dry fragile skin, dry sore mouth, apathy, lack of energy, and mental confusion
• Untreated medical conditions including infections, soiled bandages, unattended fractures and untreated cough

Self-neglect can happen to anyone, but the elderly and those with physical or mental health problems may be more likely to self-neglect, and suffer serious consequences as a result.

Remember, you should always report any concerns straight away. If adult social care is notified early enough, it might be possible to prevent harm and further self-neglect.

If you make a report, someone will talk to you about this as soon as possible. If there is immediate danger, they will aim to visit you, or the person you are concerned about straight away. If there is a significant risk of harm, they will aim to visit within 24 hours. For other reports of abuse, they will normally visit within five working days.

Adult Social Care will:

•    talk to the person at risk to and out what they want to happen.
•    support the person to have an advocate (someone to represent them) if they need one.
•    respond professionally and sensitively and take your concerns seriously.
•    talk to the police if a crime may have been committed.
•    talk to other agencies that need to be involved.
•    agree the best way of helping, including other types of support.
•    work with the person to help keep them safe.
•    make a plan to look into the concerns.

If the person refuses help, but others may be at risk, adult social care will take appropriate action.

Sexual abuse is any sexual activity that occurs without consent. Also referred to as sexual assault or sexual violence.

Sexual violence is a general term used to describe any unwanted sexual activity and includes any act by violence, coercion or manipulation, regardless of the relationship to the victim and may include:

• Rape
• Sexual assault
• Incest
• Sexual exploitation
• Unwanted or inappropriate contact
• Sexual harassment
• Revenge porn
• Exposure
• Threats
• Stalking/cyberstalking.

Sexual violence happens when someone forces you to have sex or commit a sexual act without your consent, including incidents that happen online or virtually.

Sexual violence does not have to involve any kind of weapon or physical violence or leave you with physical injuries. If you didn’t try to scream or run away that does not mean it wasn’t sexual violence – it’s really common for people in this situation to find themselves unable to speak or move.

If you’re under the influence of either drugs or alcohol, you cannot consent to a sexual act. If you are assaulted once under the influence, this is a criminal offence.

If you’ve been sexually assaulted or raped, it’s important to remember that it isn’t your fault.

Under the Sexual Offences Act 2003:

Sexual assault is defined as sexual touching without consent and carries a maximum sentence of 10 years in prison.

Rape is defined as someone with a penis penetrating another person’s vagina, anus or mouth without consent, and carries a maximum sentence of life in prison.

Assault by penetration is defined as someone penetrating another person’s vagina, anus or mouth with something other than a penis, without their consent, and carries a maximum sentence of life in prison.

Examples

• Sexual assault can involve the touching of skin, clothing or the use of something else to touch skin or clothing.
• Unwanted kissing.
• Touching someone’s genitals, breasts or bottom – including through clothing without consent.
• Touching any other part of the body for sexual pleasure or in a sexual manner – for example, stroking someone’s thigh or rubbing their back without consent.
• Pressing up against another person for sexual pleasure or in a sexual manner without consent.
• The perpetrator making someone else touch them in a sexual manner without consent.
• Touching someone’s clothing if done for sexual pleasure or in a sexual manner – for example, lifting up someone’s skirt without consent.
• Stealthing. Someone removes a condom without the other person’s permission – or lies about putting one on.
• Keeping someone pregnant in order to make them feel reliant on them.
• Forcing a pregnancy or abortion.
• Making someone feel guilty if they don’t want to have sex with them.
• Making someone feel guilty if they don’t have sex in a certain way.
• Spiking or using drugs to engage in sexual activity.
• Cyber flashing and “dick pics”

Statistics

Approximately 90% of those who are raped, know the perpetrator prior to the offence.

Only 3% of rapes and sexual assaults are false allegations.

Safety Advice

• Contact 999 if a person who is being abused feels that they are at risk of serious harm or homicide.
• If the person who is being abused needs to be removed from their home for safety please contact their local housing department to make a homeless referral or contact Our refuges – Refuge or via their national helpline: 08002000247.
• If a person is considered not to have the mental capacity or ability to make safe choices, make a referral to adult safeguarding services in your area.
• If children are involved and at risk, make a safeguarding referral to your local team.
• If there is an imminent risk of suicide or self harm, please refer the person being abused to: Where to get urgent help for mental health – NHS (www.nhs.uk). You may also need to call 999 and ask for ambulance or police.
• If the person who is being abused is looking to involve the police and collect evidence, it is important to attend a Sexual Assault Referral Centre (SARC) ASAP, please advise the victim not to shower or change clothes. Overview – Solace Centre – Surrey SARC – NHS (www.nhs.uk)
• Advise the person being abused to record incidents of abuse for future safeguarding, it may also help them to recognise a larger pattern of behaviour.
• Refer them to their local domestic abuse services or sexual violence services for ongoing support.
• Ask the person who is being abused to talk to someone they trust about the abuse.
• It may be helpful for the person being abused to discuss the impact of sexual abuse with their GP or local sexual health clinic.

I want to leave my relationship safely – Women’s Aid (womensaid.org.uk)

Help after rape and sexual assault – NHS (www.nhs.uk)

Sexual abuse | NSPCC

Stop It Now | Preventing child sexual abuse